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So Last Week, There I Am, Walking Down Towards The Red Light District. It’s A Warm Friday Night, I’d Just Gotten Off Work, And I Was Looking For A Basic Hooker To Take Home. I’m Not Planning On Grabbing Anything Fancy; I’m Not Too Big On The Extreme

“You Guys Sure You Don’t Want A Turn?”My Brother Shook His Head. “Nah, Man, I’m Tryin’ta Watch Here.”“Dad? I Could Move The Coffee Table If You Want, Let You Do Her Doggie So You Can Still See The–”“Then How Would We Reach The Snacks,

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There&Amp;Rsquo;S A Sort Of &Amp;Ldquo;Where&Amp;Rsquo;S Waldo&Amp;Rdquo; In This Pic.

Last Night I Had An Amazing Time With Three Of My Favorite Girls: My Fiancee Beth, My Neighbor Blue, And Her Sister Pink. I Was Watching Some Grey’s With Beth When&Amp;Ndash;What? No, Those Aren’t Their Real Names. That Would Be Pretty Weird, I Mean&Amp;Ndash;I

“&Amp;Hellip;Huh. Don’t See That Every Day.”My Coworker And I Watched As The Bimbo Shoved A Cucumber Down Between Her Round, Drool-Glazed Breasts And Picked Up Another To Suckle On.“Wonder If She’s Got Any Money To Pay For Those? Should We Stop

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Freeusecaptions

Contingencyhf: New Year 2017 Sketch Requests! What Better Way To End A Shitty Year Than Exorcising All The Bad Juju Via Jerking Off To Lewd Cartoons?

Stinyfreeuse: After A Hiatus That Ended Up Being Waaaaay Longer Than It Should Have Been, I’m Back. Expect 2 Captions Per Day :D Reblog&Amp;Rsquo;D For All The Free Use Fans Out There, So You&Amp;Rsquo;D Better Deliver ;)

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