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Fgts-Ahoy: Glamorouslyundead: Acruelultimatum: Think Of All The Sex You Could Be Having With This Couch And By Sex I Mean Lying Down Alone On It While You Watch Episodes Of Your Favorite Tv Shows On Netflix Fuck. Gimme This Couch, Omfg

The Cat That Just Casually Fucking Hiccuped And Probably Summoned The Dark Lord Omg The Way That Last Baby Hops! The Mama’s All Embarrassed, “Oh My God! I Am So So Sorry They Don’t Usually Behave Like This, They’re Good Kids Really…”

Edating: Hey Who Wants To Eat Donuts And Complain About Our Lives Together

Oldmanhoho: You Know You’ve Made A Good Pun When Everyones Immediate Response Upon Hearing It Is “Shut The Fuck Up”

We Live On A Floating Rock In A Giant Space That Has No Real End And You Want Me To Memorize Vocabulary Words

Consulting-Idjits-In-The-Tardis: Heartfulpenguin: Yashikoru: Heartfulpenguin: Heartfulpenguin: I Can Hear My Brother Screaming At His Ds He’s Playing Cooking Mama Thats Some Hardcore Cooking Cooking Mama Is Not A Fucking Joke Okay That Shit

Harryspankme: This Girl In My Class Today Was Writing A Ton Of Stuff On Her Paper While We Were Taking Notes And I Was Like “Woah What Are You Writing Did I Miss Something She Said” And The Girl Laughed And Was Like “Oh I’m Not Taking Notes This

Glittertitties: Themrcreepypasta: Can’t Breathe I Can Read Minds

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Defy Normal... :)

Humansofnewyork: He Told Me He Was On His Way To A Labor Law Class, So I Asked Him If He Was Studying To Be A Lawyer. He Said: “No, I’m An Electrician, Actually. I Just Want To Have As Much Knowledge As Possible So That I Can Give Good Advice To

Do You Ever Have Imaginary/Potential Conversations With People In Your Head But Then Catch Yourself Accidentally Mouthing The Words Out Or Making Faces That Would Go Along With Your Reactions In The Conversation

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